The current economic situation has hit one particular segment of the population rather hard.  The middle-aged male has seen greater than average layoffs over the last year.  This has brought on a new reality to many families.  There are more stay-at-home dads.  The statistics point to many male dominated fields such as construction and manufacturing being hit especially hard, while roles with higher female population (government, healthcare, and education) have been spared, at least somewhat.

This means that the male breadwinner is becoming a little less of the norm.  If mom is working, then that often means that dad may stay home to take care of kids.  Possibly out of necessity or possibly by choice.  When time is dominated with taking care of the household looking for work becomes that much more difficult.

I’m a new dad and while I’m working, I know there are a lot of days I would like to be able to spend more time with my new son.  He is two months at the time of me writing this.  I’m keeping a blog with my thoughts and notes of my new son.  Part of me would like to take some additional time off to spend with my son, but I’m not sure I would be so enthusiastic if I was forced to do so because of layoffs.

For those Dad’s who are at home and are enjoying their family bonding time, take advantage of it while you can.  For those who are looking to get back into workforce as quickly as possible and the stay at home thing is purely a necessity I have a few basic thoughts.

My thoughts apply to everyone, especially those with time constraints.  This may include people currently working, but looking for something new, as well as mothers or fathers who want to return to work.  You suddenly don’t have the whole day to be networking and looking for jobs.  You need to be as efficient as possible.  Being able to have a plan for your search will allow you be more efficient vs. the chaotic and usually ineffective searches that so many people pursue.  In today’s environment, just throwing your resume on the internet and applying to posted jobs is like playing the lottery.  Yes, people do win, but odds are stacked against you.  You need to be able to reach out and expand your network in order to improve your odds.  It is those connections that can help you navigate through obstacles and get you closer to decision makers.

This means having a plan, organizing your job search, and connecting with those that can help you get ahead.  By doing all this you have a much higher likelihood that you can land the job you really want.  In today’s environment, we have to expect that finding a new job will take longer than ever and we’ll have to spend time and effort to make a job search successful.  I’m certainly biased, but we’ve put together a system with CardboardResume that will help you get your job search organized and keep track of your connections that can help you find that next job.  We offer a free trial with no strings attached to let you see if this method is for you.  I encourage you to try it (and I really mean try it out) as you will get out of it what you put into it.

Deal, don’t deny.

Don't Deny Your Feelings

There are inevitably feelings of loss, disappointment and sadness when we are asked to leave our job. Even if we are the victim of a bean counter’s arbitrary calculations, we often cannot help but feel that there is something wrong with us. Add to this the financial insecurity and uncertainty of being without a paycheck, and we’ve got a stew of emotions that can keep us from being power, effective job seekers.

In my book, The Market for Me: Surviving Job Loss and Building Your Lifetime Career Network, I provide a list of possible ways of dealing with these negative feelings. You can push them down, I argue, but they will come back up, usually in undesireable ways such as low confidence, low motivation and depression.

What have you done to deal directly with your feelings of loss and even shame? How have you embraced the difficult situation in healthy and nurturing ways? How do you restore your own power when you feel powerless?

Share your ideas in the commens on this post so that we can all benefit. 

If you suspect that you’re being victimized by unresolved sadness and disappointment, choose the ideas here that appeal to you.

Ideas from the Book

• Journal about your feelings.
• Tell a trusted friend how you really feel.
• Exercise.
• Get active in a church, mosque or synagogue.
• Volunteer.
• Dream build.
• Get up early each morning.
• Read the biography of someone you admire.
• Eulogize your job in writing.
• Send a note to former teammates telling them what you appreciated about them.
• Tell the truth about how you feel when asked, “How’s it going?”
• Start building your personal network.
• Tell your story and get it out.
• Commit to something.
• Give yourself some time off.

Tell us what works for you.